NOP, Thinking about it all, I really think it was only an EA. When we talk, it is fairly apparent that this is the case. Contact was by cell phone and she has stopped that.
I really do think our issues go way back to before we were married and have largely resulted from me being HD and her LD. The discrepancy has lead to anger on my part, rejection from her, me hurting her and her withdrawal. It's amazing that our SL led to these things, but I really think this is the heart of the issue.
I printed and let her read the recent post from Shortchanged on How a HD husband feels with a LD wife, since his post really illustrates how I feel. She read it and said she understands.
The completely disheartening thing is that she said that she didn't think she would ever be able to make me happy. She didn't think she could meet such an expectation. I responded that I didn't think it should be something expected, or a chore or a duty, but something she should mutually want to share with me. I sense that we are miles apart here and really feel doomed in a way. I love my kids and I do love her, but how can I live the rest of my life this way. She knows that the current situation (no sex whatsoever) which has lasted the past year cannot continue. At the same time, she doesn't want pressure to change her feelings. That left me feeling in limbo. I felt I really needed some kind of time frame that things would either turn around, or we would part. We settled on next Spring. If things haven't improved by then, we agreed that they probably aren't going to. I just hate the way this all makes me feel. As Shortchanged notes in his post, it would be so easy to please someone like me and yet the idea of it seems so insurmountable to her. I am left feeling extremely depressed...
