I understand this "but part of that has been her. She says that she doesn't always feel like spending time with me (discouraging to me)."....but keep in mind she's saying this AFTER the damage has already been done. AFTER you two have already spent far too much time apart, albeit well intentined as it may have been...and both of you participated in this.
This, I feel, is where you keep tripping yourself up and end up depressing yourself. You need to keep reminding yourself that it's important to spend as much time as you can with her now (whether she discourages you or not)...because that is the very thing (that you both did) that got you where you are now.
Remember when she discourages you that she's speaking from a hurt place, a vulnerable place...a place she now wants to protect.
Now that doesn't mean you don't have your limits, of course you do and you'll know when you've reached it. We all have our limits.
BUT...and here' a bit BUT here for ya...you guys have't been at this that long, not in comparison to how long you've been married and how long it took for your marriage to get to the point it is at now. Now that doesn't mean you can fix the problem yourself, if your W says she wants to save the M then at some point you are going to have to challenge her to step up to the plate...perhaps you need to do that in the C's office? Otherwise, sure...you're going to say enough is enough much sooner than you otherwise might.
