Hello, I am new, but have lurked for the past year. Read DB, SSM, at least twice, Light her fire, etc.
Married 11yr, 2kids. This past year has been very difficult. Wife basically decided without telling me, that she has been unhappy for at least the past 3 yr and as a result does not want to have a sex life with me anymore. I figured things out over a couple of months. She says I have been mean to her and kids at times, she is tired of it. Says I don't understand why she doesn't want to be intimate with me.
We had built a new home around that time. She became close with the builder. She said they were just friends, but she talked with him more than me. We basically became strangers living in the same house. Finally around THanksgiving, I confronted her with the R with builder and said we needed to go to C. We started together then apart now back together.
She agreed not to talk with her friend anymore and I don't think she has. My dilemma is that she claims that she doesn't know if she will ever forgive me for hurting her and as a result, doesn't know if she will ever be able to have an intimate relationship with me again. We have counseled this whole time and while counselor thinks things have progressed to the point of us understanding how we got to where we are, the counselor doesn't know if the marriage will survive at this point.
As time goes on, I feel more and more resentful toward W. She wants to be friends, live in the new house and keep things status quo. I think she would be happy living as friends forever and nothing more. I am very torn. I don't want to upset our kids, but I can't live in this situation much longer. I don't even know if I love her anymore for the way she has treated me. I don't believe she really cares if things don't work out, but I sense that she has no idea how life would change. Any thoughts??
