Confused and Lost

[arjnex]

Greeneyedlass, I mentioned it to her last night, in passing, while we were both in the kitchen. She didn't say much in response but perhaps a seed has been planted. She mostly made reference to her need for sleep above all else.

Meanwhile, additional evidence is piling up that she's trying. After she tried sitting on my chair arm to be close to me again, she had to get up, saying that position was uncomfortable for her. I asked her, "Is there a way we could sit together and be close where you wouldn't be uncomfortable?" She said, "I'll think about it." Later, as I was lying on the couch, she tried a new tactic, climbing on and literally lying on top of me. She warned me, "I'm heavy," but I said, "I don't mind one bit." Unfortunately, in that position, she banged her (bad) foot and made it hurt, so she had to get up. She told me that she's been normally sleeping in a position where she can point her foot sideways, so it won't get the wrong kind of pressure on it.

Then, this morning, after helping me with my shoes, she came over and gave me a deep kiss. She then said, "If you'd brush your teeth more, I'd kiss you more." Well, what could I do? I went in and brushed my teeth, hampered only slightly by her having borrowed my toothpaste to use as jewelry cleaner. (Try it, it works!) I also used one of those Listerine Pocket Pak strips (citrus flavor) afterwards for effect, then came to her and said, "Let's try that again." And so we did. She agreed that was better, and liked the citrus flavor. I went back out to get my stuff together to leave, and said, "Well, as much as I'd like to stay here and kiss you all day, I must be off." She came out and said, "One more for the road?" Deep kiss #3 ensued, and, as we broke apart, she said, "That'll send you off to work with a smile on your face!" (And I thought, "Not to mention a bulge in my shorts!")

So, looks like she's trying to help me out...though perhaps it's still a partial stall, as she dances at the threshold of actual "sexual" acts without going over the edge.

Oh, and she suggested trying to call other psychs, since the ones she called haven't called back, before I brought it up. Naturally my response was, "Exactly what I was going to suggest!", and I also told her I'd run another search to get her still more names if necessary. (Remember, this is mainly to see about dealing with her sleep disorder. That appears to be her biggest roadblock: lack of energy caused by lack of sleep.)

So I'm feeling good today. Of course, now being at work is likely to ruin my mood...but the having of that good feeling this morning was worth the losing of it.

- "A"