When I say you are afraid of her...I don't mean necessarily that I think you're quaking in your boots (er...brace) when it comes to her...when I say you are afraid of her, I mean afraid of hurting her, bruising her feelings or self-esteem etc, and what she will do because of that.
This is something that you're going to have to work past. The fact is some of the things that need to be said between the two of you will probably hurt feelings, may cause some anger, someone may be completely embarrassed etc. But these things must be worked through to work out your issues.
I speak from experience on this. I tip-toed around my H for well over a year, trying not to hurt his feelings, trying not to sound demanding, trying not to look foolish. All it did for me/us is waste time, cause confusion/anger/resentment and just in general cause me to shoot myself in the foot because it was a HUGE waste of time.
I finally realized by tip-toeing around my H thinking I was sparing his feelings...."I" was avoiding the issues, "I" was enabling him to not face the problems, "I" was just as much (if not more) at fault for the situation I found us in as he was....because I recognized the problem, but still didn't make him face it with me. I didn't touch him for quite some time, other than an affectionate hug/kiss...because "I" didn't want him to feel pressured. Well gee...that didn't do me much good, he took that as me pushing him away and being who he is...he backed off more.
"I" didn't bring up things I wanted to talk about because he was going to counseling and "I" didn't want to pressure him further. Which only led to me not being able to get the things out of my system that I needed to...."BANG!" shot my little toe right off!!! I found I had shot myself squarely in the foot by using his counseling as an excuse for "ME" not to communicate with him.....like somehow magically his C would channel into my brain and tell him all the things I was thinking....BZZZZ Not gonna happen! LOL.
This is somewhat the same avoidance dance I see you doing....only you are using her dealing with her "bi-sexuality" as a reason not to push....not to show her the affection you feel, as a reason to (for lack of a better way of putting this) ask her permission to do the things you want to do. How healthy is that? It's not.
I urge you again to do what I did with my H. Go to your W and talk frankly w/her. Yes, I know how much courage this takes, believe me I do...been there, done that. But you need to tell her how much you are holding in/back...granted, you have a bit of a physical impairement right now, but that doesn't mean you don't need/deserve physical affection...and she knows damned well there are many ways she could be taking care of you in that manner.
You need to tell her how many times you've wanted to reach out and hold her, kiss her etc...but haven't because when you try to you are pushed away w/excuses....as if you giving her a nice passionate kiss, or a squeeze on the butt or anything else...is going to make that headache worse. I mean, it's not as if you are after her 24-7 right? If you were that'd be an altogether different issue
It's possible that she doesn't realize how often she shoots you down, intentionally or unintentionally. My H really, truly didn't have any idea until I pointed it out to him...and then he was able to begin to understand why I was hurting as I was.
As to your nocturnal problem ... my H has the same problem, although he also snores to beat the band at times. Try Gas-X or Beano, they truly can help.
So in answer to this question, if you haven't already gathered it from my response...."I've considered trying to express these feelings to her and talk them out with her, which may discharge some of the tension. Is this a wise course of action?"
YES!!! This needs to be done, this is what I've been urging you to do
