Truly, if your wife would cut you off in such a cruel way--no more kissing or hugging or touching or helping you with your brace, for goodness sakes--simply because you stated that you wanted to kiss her when you wanted to and not have to ask 'permission', then your problems are much deeper than an SSM.
Think about what you are saying and ask yourself if this sounds like a relationship in which you even want to be. I'm NOT saying to ditch her, or anything of the sort. I'm just saying to screw up your courage and unilaterally change the mother/son dynamic thing you have going on. Simply stop playing by those rules. At the same time, you should be respectful of her and kind and considerate--all those things would preclude being pawing and grabby.
It was VERY hard, probably the hardest part of the process, for me to learn how to be myself in front of H. I was afraid and shy and awkward. But it had to be done.
I liked the story but your wife knows there is no easy and tidy answer. She knows that a device would not be the sole thing that will help her rediscover her desire for you--that requires intimacy and intimacy requires talking and honest communication. Really, it's where you have to start as uncomfortable as it is.
