I'm going to say this the only way I really can....you must get over your fear of your W. Remember, just because you tell her what you want/need, doesn't mean you have to demand it and doesn't mean you are demanding it. You are simply telling her how you feel, what you want, and what needs of yours are left unfulfilled (that she has the power to fill). I don't see anything wrong with you telling her verbatim what you wrote in your previous posting...it doesn't sound angry at all to me....but it is to the point and it needs to be. I would tell her exactly what you wrote.
Reaching out to her and touching her in nice gentle somewhat sexual ways, in ways you want to touch her...is yet again, not demanding, not needy....and there is a blatant difference between pawing someone and touching/caressing them. I believe you think she will view any touching from you as pawing, am I correct on that? And you are afraid that if you don't ask her permission to touch her...she'll cut you off completely. I HIGHLY doubt that will happen. But YOU have to get over your fear of driving her away by asking for what you need/want....or by simply touching her. You can communicate volumes to her in a kiss that words will never express. But getting the courage up to do it is not an easy thing to do (not gonna deny that)...but the only way to get over/past that, like I've said before is to do it.
I know you depend on her quite a bit right now too, due to your condition....but she's not going to abandon you to fend for yourself....do you really think that would happen? Or do you fear that would happen? There is a difference. It's the unknown that we fear the most, and our worst fears more often than not never come to pass....but we let them prevent us from doing what we need to (geesh I should take my own advice with my Dad!).
I know it takes a lot to screw up the courage necessary to talk to her and have the conversation that you two really need to have...believe me, it took me some time to get to where I needed to be with my H too.
One of the things that did really help was when I told him that I was afraid of xyz happening or that I could envision xyz happening if I told him this... or if I did this... I truly could envision my H getting mad enough at me that he'd leave and never come back....when I told him of my fears of communicating with him, he looked at me with wide eyes and said "Oh No! I'd Never Do That! I'd Never Leave" So at that point we made an agreement that no matter what it is, we can say what's on our mind or in our hearts without fear that the other is juding us...or that they will walk out the door. We agreed that sure, we may get mad, we may even fight, but we would get past it.
