Confused and Lost

[arjnex]

First, Greeneyedlass, thanks. I will refrain from making that particular mistake.

Now, to Honeypot: Your statement:

Honey I've been thinking and I'm no longer going to "ask" permission to touch you. You are my wife. I love you and I love touching you. I promise I will be mindful and respectful of your moods and my timing but if I have the urge to touch you or kiss you, I'm gonna go for it. What do you think of that plan?

That nearly scared me off. What I'm afraid would happen under that scenario is this: My wife would get it into her head that she would be liable to get pawed at every time she came near me. (Not that I'd actually be doing that, mind!) Result: she wouldn't come near me. And I would lose what little physical attention (simple hugs & kisses) I presently enjoy. Remember, too, I'm currently dependent on her assistance; I can't bathe myself without her help, and she also helps with adjusting my brace as needed. And she has to drive me to work still, which puts us in close proximity for the entire commute. I'd be putting all that at risk if I went to this program of "unrestricted touches."

Maybe what I really need is a way to tell her something like this:

"Sweetheart, if I wait until all your issues are perfectly settled before we move forward with rebuilding our sexual relationship, I'll be waiting forever, as 'perfection' is something that's impossible to attain. I have tried and am continuing to try to be mindful of your needs, but I have needs as well, and, from my chair, those needs are long overdue in being anywhere even close to met. I'm not expecting you to go full-on today, or tomorrow, or even next week or next month. What I do expect is that you put some effort into respecting my needs as I am putting effort into respecting yours...and, if you can't do that, then we have a serious problem."

Now, obviously, I can't say that verbatim; it's too angry and would run the risk of alienating her further. Is there a way I could say this better?

- "A"