Confused and Lost

[arjnex]

Honeypot...I already recounted how I asked my wife if I could touch her for a moment and she said, "No." I don't think I've yet figured out the right "combination" to start sexual activity--any sexual activity, what sort of mood she has to be in, what time of day, etc. Maybe I lack the words to tell her the sentiment you're expressing.

Now, before she went to bed last night, she did kiss me goodnight with a very yummy open-mouthed kiss, something she rarely gives me. That tends to reinforce my belief that there is something there to work with. Naturally, I did give positive feedback on that kiss, i.e., "Oh, honey!"

Greeneyedlass, I may adopt that tactic if I ever get accused of "obsessing." Excuse me in advance for borrowing your copyright.

She's focused on two things right now: her sleep disorder and her upcoming foot surgery. It's going to be tough to get her to keep any focus whatsoever on sex.

Now, let me run another thing by you. There's a story I want to share with her, that I'll share with you and see what you think. It's by a blogger I stumbled across once who writes fiction on the side, and it's titled "The Gift Room." It's about a couple in an SSM that finds help from an unlikely source. This story was, when I first read it, almost painful for me to read, though it's very well-written; I could feel some of the lines striking home. (I wish there were a "Helen" that could help us out, but, sadly, she's just fiction.) I think the story was one of the things that "planted the seed" that caused me to come to this forum, and to broach the subject with my wife. Read it and judge for yourself: should I pass this along to my wife, who may not have seen it?

(Oh, and, Honeypot, thanks for the nice thought at the end. I'm in no pain and haven't been for some time. The brace is sometimes uncomfortable but not unbearably so. In another couple of days, I can try loosening the hinge and bending my knee for the first time in six weeks, though I'll have to lock it again if I want to stand or walk. Soon, more physical therapy will be in the offing, to regain range of motion and muscle power.)

- "A"