Ok...here's a bit of truth for you k? You will most likely no matter what approach you take with her hear from her at some point that you are "obsessing" about this....so brace yourself for it now, be prepared for it...in order to help avoid a potential setback. Her saying something like this to you, is not only to be expected....it's often part of the process.
I am hopeful your W won't say this to you, but do not be crushed if she does....I believe every single one of us on here at some point has heard those words So, if you already know that could potentially set you back work on toughening up your skin now....know that part of the process includes her possibly finding fault in YOU (not that you aren't at fault in your own ways). But the HD partner often hears how if they'd stop obsessing about it the LD partner might relax enough to do it....that's almost verbatim what I heard from my H. I've also heard....well I was in the mood but then you brought it up and that killed it for me (so it's your fault we aren't having sex now).
You're W may not do these things, but it is VERY common...and know this taking the "pianissimo" approach will not avoid it
Just be prepared....if she takes this approach do not crumble (at least not in front of her).
So, if you already know that could potentially set you back work on toughening up your skin now....know that part of the process includes her possibly finding fault in YOU (not that you aren't at fault in your own ways). But the HD partner often hears how if they'd stop obsessing about it the LD partner might relax enough to do it....that's almost verbatim what I heard from my H. I've also heard....well I was in the mood but then you brought it up and that killed it for me (so it's your fault we aren't having sex now). 