A couple of days ago, my wife came by my recliner, where I was sitting, sat down on the arm, and slid into my arms. As I held her, she said, "I'm sorry I've been such a bad wife." I tried to reassure her as I held her, stroking her back. I made sure not to squeeze her too tightly, much as I wanted to, as that usually causes her to pull away. (In some respects, I'm stronger than I look.)
Last night, I finally worked up the gumption to ask her, "May I touch you for a moment?" She said, "No," to which I responded, "I accept your decision. May I ask you again sometime?" She answered "Yes," to that, and clarified her earlier answer, "Not just before I go to sleep," which this was. I repeated that I accepted her decision, and she left for bed.
So, I'm thinking that (a) she does want to resolve this problem at some level, and (b) she hasn't entirely slammed the door on me.
Now, I know you might criticize me for asking if I could touch her rather than just doing it. However, I'd been trying to get up the nerve to do so for two days at that point, and only did what I did as a compromise to try and make some forward progress. But it also might help her feel like she's more in control of things.
Small signs of forward progress, but I've certainly gone farther than I thought I would have two weeks ago.
- "A"
"Everything that happens, happens. Everything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Everything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again."
