Truly the confidence I appear to have has come from the determination to save my M. It also helped that I knew my H was a very good man with some issues, issues he didn't realize were keeping him from being a happy person, issues that caused him to unintentionally push me away......it really sounds to me that you and your W could be in a similar situation. I'm really wondering if she even realizes what she's doing....that's why it's SOOOO important to communicate to her how you feel and that you need a wife & lover rather than a friend/roommate/mother.
Out of curiosity what is your physical condition? Was there an accident that occurred or is it a pre-existing condition? I notice you mentioned that she baths you, adjusts your brace, and drives you when necessary. I'm not trying to get too personal...but it might have some bearing on your W's behavior too. Often women will slip into a "motherly" role when caring for someone who in some ways cannot care fully for themselves, so if she's done this she may not be fully aware of it. If this is the case for you....you might joke with her when she bathes you that she is allowed to give you a more "intimate" bath than the nurses in the hospital do and that you'd really like that. I find a sense of humor to be invaluable at times.
FWIW....determination, perserverence, consistency, and patience have been invaluable qualities when working on my M...and it's paying off.
