You are absolutely correct...you need to repeatedly let her know in your letter that you want to improve your M, not dissolve it....that you love her, want her and want to know what YOU can do to improve things.
And if there is a silver lining to your surgeries it's this in my eyes: You two need to work on your emotional intimacy before you can expect the physical...this will really give you two time to get to know each other again, to talk, to be friends....I can tell you from experience....now that my H and I have become friends again the emotional intimacy/connection is back and I cannot tell you how good that feels to feel "in love" again. Once you have that the physical connection will follow (to some degree).
The effort you put in on this is definitely worth the reward
