Greeneyedlass, thanks for the response. Yes, I know that, if I do nothing, "nothing will come of nothing." However, I don't really know how to go about addressing this subject. I'm not exactly experienced in this, being rather socially unsophisticated, to say the least. My wife is only the second woman I've ever slept with; there were a couple of "close calls" and "wannabes" somewhere along the line, but that's it. And that first woman, back in college, turned out to be a complete psycho. I count myself fortunate that the woman who is now my wife actually wanted me in the first place.
Counseling is not really an option at this point; we are low on money and heavily in debt, due in part to a couple of extended bouts of unemployment on my part, and having to take a lower-paying job to keep from losing everything altogether. My wife can't really work right now, due to ongoing illness issues.
As I said, sex was an issue in her marriage to husband #2, especially when the relationship broke down; he was basically coercing her and withholding necessities to get it from her (things like new underwear!). Dunno about husband #1. But you can see why I'm anxious to avoid anything that even carries the whiff of coercion. Unfortunately, it's had the opposite effect, rather. I sometimes think the reason husband #2 did what he did was that was the only way he could get her to do it...and I know that's wrong of me to think, and I'm just adding to my burden of guilt by even admitting that I thought that.
Yes, I know a solution will take time. Time, I got. What I don't have, apparently, is any courage.
(Exposition-that's-perhaps-unnecessary: Needless to say, this is a pseudonym. My wife is also an enthusiastic Internet user, and we have a fairly well-established public presence in some parts of the net. The Argus eye of Google never sleeps, and, if my real name or handle were associated with this discussion, not only could she find me easily if she looked, but anyone who saw this discussion could easily find both of us, and maybe spill the beans before I can somehow get up the guts to do so.)
"Everything that happens, happens. Everything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Everything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again."
