Yes, as long as you have a photocopy of the passport, I don't see why you couldn't report it lost and get a new one if you need to.
As to trading the house for child support - I do see the point of your idea - a bird in the hand - and there is a worry that he won't be productive in the future. On the otherhand- do the math to make sure it is a reasonable deal for you. Is there enough equity in the house that his half of the equity, if invested, would generate an income equal to his child support? If not, it seems like a bad deal - AND you still have to figure out how to come up with enough increased income yourself to pay the whole mortgage and all of D's expenses.
An easier solution might be to just finalize the legal stuff and have a clear-cut divorce decree that you can enforce - but I realize, that doesn't mean he can't continue to screw around with you. I can definitely see the desire to be completely financially separated from him.
BTW - can you make it a term of the divorce that you buy a life insurance policy on him, with D as beneficiary? No, wait - I really wouldn't want HIM to have a life insurance policy on YOU, that wouldn't be safe now, would it?
He sounds depressed - all the angry outbursts - I suspect it is dawning on him that he has lost you, and he may be waking up enough to look around him and see what a mess he has gotten himself into. Maybe the best approach to that is to be validating, but in a way that encourages him AWAY from you? I'm thinking something along the lines of "Yes, it's a bit difficult right now, but striking out on a new adventure is always a little tough at first, you'll be rewarded with a fabulous new life that will bemuch better than the old"
