I have never stopped visitation or made it difficult, although H seems to think that my not taking being ordered around like a servant is "trying to punish him". I wouldn't be stopping D going to stay with him for his month, but I would stop him leaving the country with her (if I didn't hand over the passport).
Anyhow, I got an email from H this morning.
He tells me that he is bringing D down this evening as he has a heavy workload on. So he admits that entertaining a child on holiday while working is not always easy - he doesn't do it, but expect me to?
Says that she sprained her wrist while playing ball with him and is in some pain. Asks what if it had been an emergency, and she had broken her wrist? What if then I had not taken his phone call? That I am being childish by not taking his call, and only trying to punish him.
Well, firstly, he did not try and call me yesterday and I pointed out to him in an email that I do have a voicemail facility. There is this assumption that if there is an emergency while he has D, that he doesn't have to deal with it, he just delivers her back to me.
And he labours under the illusion that I want to punish him. I couldn't care less about him, and would love it if he never bothered me again! He doesn't realise how indifferent I am to him. I have seen the light, and seen right through him, finally. He still, and will for ever more, think it is all about him.
Here's a little aside -
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer
1) One - he holds it against the socket, and the world revolves around him.
2) One - because he will tell you when to buy the light bulb at a hardware store he picked out. He will tell you what wattage to get. He will then berate you for not getting the right brand. Then he will direct you to the lamp, and explain what direction to turn the burned out bulb and he will instruct you on how to open the package with the new bulb so you do not jostle it and damage the new one.
Then he will share with you his observation on how YOU are always burning out light bulbs. You must have dropped the lamp in the first place seeing as how you never pay attention to anything around you. That stated, he will then instruct you on which direction to screw the new bulb in. Carefully, now, as we both know you tend to treat objects roughly.
He will direct you to the garbage pail to throw away the old bulb and the wrapping for the new one "Careful now you know how you drop things" and make sure you understand that you are a slob also and need to make sure you always put the garbage out properly. It only took 1 N to do that big job with so many obstacles in the way.
The second answer was my mother down to a T!
I have asked him to get D to ring me as soon as she wakes up.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
