Prepare for the fight of your life. I told XH he was a bully and that I had had it. He then got a lawyer who now helps him bully me. I have not spoken to or had any contact with XH since May 29. He obviously can't stand it because he is taking me to court to try to dismiss my restraining order.
Yes, I can see it will probably get much worse before it gets better. I never recognised what a bully H is. I suppose you don't until the chips are down.
What does your H need to talk to you for?
I guess I will have to write him an email being explicit about only communicating by email. I will not mention anything about his being a bully, as I think using labels gets them worked up more, and also I think showing them that you are rattled is satisfying to them.
I will think of other ways of finding out the amount of house tax to pay. Like ringing his accountant directly! My good friend uses the same accoutant, so she can give me his contact details. The fact that H won't simply email me the amount tells me volumes about his tactics, his extremely P/A behaviour.
Keep pressing that you will only communicate via e-mail. My XH would call me 20 times a day, get me worked up and then record it when I lost it. Now I am having to defend myself against voicemails that I left after he completely enraged me on purpose. Don't take the bait.
See above.
My only advice is keep contact to a minimum and give him nothing. If you give him an inch he will take a mile. The longer I am away from XH the stronger I become, you will too.
Yes, I have understood that about my H over the past two years. It's that grand sense of entitlement. I will just have to learn to be totally independent of him, then what can he do? On all the Narcissism sites, it basically advises you NOT to depend on them in any way, it never works. They will jerk you around for ever, evade their responsibilities etc, for ever. You can choose to fight them (for ever), or just cut your loses and forget them. They often "win" in the material sense, but you don't have the poison in your life on a day to day basis, and that is worth having! Some of the stories I have read about them are simply hair raising, and deeply depressing.
My sister thinks I should get as far away as possible from him, return to other country, but it is such a big decision, I am not ready to make it. This trip I am going to find out as much as I can about my options there. These days I feel as if my brain is going to burst.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
