Thanks Pattie and Michele for your comments and ideas. They are all useful. You are right, Michele, H often does not hear what he doesn't like to hear, hence I never said it.

Yesterday he came to pick up D, along with his friend R, whose place he will be staying at over the weekend. R was a mutual friend, although he was always closer to H, and these days I don't choose to socialise with R (and his family), for no other reason than that I don't feel close enough to him/them, but he is a nice enough guy.

Anyway, H says from outside, come and say "Hi" to R. Then H says, can I use your toilet? Of course I say OK, sure.

D and I are playing cards, because their time of arrival had been pushed back and we were just passing the time. We were in the middle of a game and D wanted to finish. Meanwhile H behaves like everything is just hunky dory. He is chatty and happy. I know he had a little look in the rooms on the way to the toilet. The game was going on and on, so I just said, look, I have to go out and this game is going to take forever, so let's call it a day, and we did.

It will be interesting to see whether H has changed his payment at all when it comes through on Monday. You all are right about not getting uduly into a fight with H, he gets provoked, but basically backs off when I am firm without labouring a point.

I was surprised he was happy, as I know he got a call from his bank yesterday. They called here first, they STILL don't seem to know what his current telephone number is??? And when the bank calls it is usually bad news, not good. And whenever H hears bad news from his bank, I am the first port of call for his venting.

Oh well, I intend to have a good weekend. Tonight I am going out with friends to a big open air music and food evening, which should be great. I have my good friend staying overnight and for brunch tomorrow. Apart from that, I have time to get on with lots of things I need to attend to, without having to entertain D.

Oh, and last night I had a nice cooking class. If I had a constant stream of students for those classes, I would be much better off. Everybody agrees the food is great, it is just getting the constant custom.

One good thing these days, with teaching English only to adults, and cooking classes, is that I am at least doing stuff I can handle well and really enjoy, and the stressful moments are fewer than when I was teaching kids. I really am not cut out for that!

If some fairy godmother would just put H on "hold", so that his behaviour was normal and pleasant for a long time, it would allow me to get on with my life with much more focus and energy. As things are, much of it is diverted into dealing with H and his provocations.

Have a good weekend all!

Livnlearn

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates