I think the time has come to write a definitive letter of some sort to H, telling him the following -

As far as I am concerned, what he pays me now is the bottom line, irrespective of what I am earning. By all accounts, the lawyer seemed to think what he pays is OK and no way too much in my circumstances.

I don't want to have to account to H every so often. He pays child support and half the mortgage, and that is that.

I don't want to have to account for what I am doing in my life, how I am spending my money etc, to him.

Friendship between us will not work. Being cordial and friendly when we have to communicate is enough.

I will be sticking to some boundaries - I will not ferry D or do errands for him, that are not related to our agreement.

I am having a hard time wondering how to word this. From what I have read about Narcissists and also from experience with H, this kind of stuff is very injurious to their egos and you will be "punished". Many things about narcissists - their sense of entitlement, their tendancy to project all their garbage onto you, their insatiability and sense of victimhood, all of which I see plainly in H, make them very wearying to deal with.

Please help me with suggestions about the wording of this letter, so it sounds firm, not provocative, and perhaps even strokes his ego in some way...

Thanks,

Livnlearn

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates