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Don't forget to ask the attorney how to handle your inheritance so that H can't get any of it.

I alternate between feeling sorry for my H and feeling that he doesn't deserve my sympathy at all. The bottom line is my and D's survival.

You know, his talk about money and buying a place is all probably speculation, a way of easing his anxiety at the moment. I guess the trick is how to deal with him so you get what you want. Probably validating him and dropping the rope will keep things calmest. Meanwhile, you just get a clear picture from the attorney of what H will have to pay and don't settle for less.

Yes, knowing how to 'handle' him is the key to this, I think.

Hmmm....and just thinking about your vacation this summer - what do you need to do to make sure H doesn't take any of your things while you are gone? Is there anything of value left in the house that he might want? Can you get someone to house-sit for you, or put some stuff in storage? (Maybe some DBer wants to take a vacation to your country? )

I changed the locks last summer and have made it clear so far he does not have the run of this place when I am not here. Even when he has D with him. No way. He may bring it up agaihn, saying that while he has D with him and I am away he should be able to stay here, but I will not buy it. I am not worried about him taking stuff. He is more the "leave behind the mess for others to deal with" type. He has already taken what he wants. I have put all the remainder of his personal belongings in the attic (I carried it three floors up. I am willing to bet he will not touch a thing up there, EVER AGAIN!! Place your bets now!). He may in the future want some furniture if he gets an unfurnished place, but I doubt it, he is tooooooooo lazy to furnish a place. Unless he gets an OW who will do it for him.





Thanks for your points, Ellie.

Livnlearn


"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates