Deb, seems like he is wanting to spend more time with you. I think this is a good thing. Either he is enjoying your company or he is trying to and I think this is good too. Just keep working on leaving things alone. Trust is hard and you don't have to achieve it overnight, but try to act as if anyway. It's great that you showed your appreciation to him for putting up the shelf. I believe men love to be appreciated. In fact, I just got Michelle's Keeping Love Alive tapes and was reminded of this today as I listened. So far the KLA is a great reminder and I recommend it.
Anyway, I keep working on appreciating and trying to make him feel he is my favorite person in the world. But leaving him alone is the best way I can do that. Letting him make choices for himself and trusting him to consider me when he makes those choices. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't.
It isn't a perfect thing by any means. I've got some boundaries I want to set too, but I haven't figured out quite how to do it yet. I still wonder if he is spending time with someone else when he doesn't come home right when I think he should. Drives me nuts! And I know it is my insecurity that makes me think that way. So I gotta keep working on that too. If I found out he was up to something I would be devastated all over again but I have to relax and believe it isn't going to happen. I've got to enjoy every minute and not worry about what might happen in the future cuz I have no control over it.
Keep working on GAL and maybe see your doc about antidepressents. I agree with Totally, they have helped me alot too.
Try not to obsess so much about him. I find myself doing it sometimes and have to really talk myself out of it. Keep working on being happy with you, it will come. PATIENCE
