I just peeked in on the board yesterday and read through your threads as well as livnlearn's.
I got away from the board as I wasn't really finding much here to help me any more.
I have gotten a life, although it looks to be w/o H. H and OW are no longer together but his head is totally screwed up.
If you will permit me to be frank I am going to tell it like I see it.
Over the past year I have seen your story repeat itself over and over again when your H claims to be no longer w/ ow, you say something feels different, but to put it frankly it doesn't really look any different to me.
There have no been any consequences and no real boundaries that I can see.
He continues on with her, swears its over when it isn't, and you continue putting on the sexy lingerie and giving it to him real good.
Part of dbing was supposed to be monitoring what works and you running after him telling him how much you love him, how badly you want to be with him etc isn't doing it.
Is this the life you want to have?
Are you content, at peace?
If not then as painful as it is you are going to have to be the one to set up the boundaries.
Right now he is having his cake, eating it too, got two women after him, and only having to deal with the midly painful emotional erruptions from both of them.
Girlfriend where is your self respect? There is such a thing as saving your M at any cost, but do you really want your S to see that you are a weak willed wimpy doormat that tolerates long term infidelity?
Why would your H want to chose you when you have made it pretty much clear that he doesn't have to choose. That you just love him so much that you will put up with it all.
I am just saying it like I see it, I am not trying to bring you down. My M may be about over, but I have found myself, including my self respect, my personal integrity, and a whole big skill set that was lurking under the surface.
I read something somewhere that I really like and this is it:
