I had a light bulb moment as I was coming back from my meeting.
For the last week, I have been pondering what on earth I said to H in my emails last week that would have sent ow bawling and crying from his office, that she would have said was more devastating than her divorce. I couldnt come up with a thing....I said NOTHING to get that kind of response. NOTHING. I said I loved him more than he knew (surely she wouldnt be surprised by that), I said I was having a hard time because I figured he was planning to be with her on her bday, I said I didnt know what i could say to him that she hadnt already said. I said nothing at all disparaging about her, nothing to elicit such a response.
So, I've been wondering, what would have?
then it hit me....she read not only 3 of my emails to h, but a thread of the three with his responses to me in there. HIS RESPONSES are what upset her. what did he tell me?????? He said that he thought WE were on the right track, just for me to please not stress out and over react right now; he said that he did love me, that I've been the steady one in his life all these years and that he appreciates that greatly. he said that he admired my courage and devotion and efforts to convey my thoughts to him. He said, specifically, that he thought it would be really nice if I could come with him on Friday, and that he would like it.
OK, so if I was the ow and read the guys emails to his wife to this extent, how would I react????? I'd be OUTTA THERE with no looking back, I'd be pissed beyond words, I'd be in tears, I'd feel like a fool who's been used and allowed herself to be used for 2 years, and yes, I'd probably storm out of the office in tears.
Will it be enough to keep her from going back to him????? I don't know, I can only hope, but she seems to be extremely dense.
This explains also H's intensified guilt and grief, why he's so worried about her...
It's the only explanation that makes any sense. duh
