still morphing 5

[sage]

Hi Deb,

I'm sorry you're in the muck...I don't think you've blown it at all...and I think you're holding up admirably to what can only be an incredibly painful time for both of you...it's amazing that h is disclosing so much to you about xow and how he has felt about her (some clues for you for future db'ing too, no?) and while it's open and honest and disclosing...I'm certain that it's enormously hard to hear and raw and disturbing.

I don't think you can rush through it or rush him through it. You have a credible plan...you made it clear to him what needed to happen and in parallel you are working to establish your financial security, put your attorney ducks in a row...I think you need to continue that for a few different reasons...ther is some security in knowing that you have stuck to YOUR plan...and perhaps doing so will keep your mind off of the emotional side of your sitch right now.

I'd say keep doing what you're doing because you are doing really well...I'd suggest STOPPING the conversation with h before you blow, though...it's perfectly fine and not invalidating in the least to say "I need a break from this"...to be clear about how much you can hear at a time...eventually, if this disclosure continues, we may want to look at "Is this helping or hurting" but frankly, for now, I'm thinking of it as cleaning a wound, ya know?

Sage