Deb, I know some on your thread don't agree with me, but I just want to note some things from your post that I would not do--doesn't mean it is the right or only way, but...I would not mention the journal or the "I'm working on letting go". These are things that he doesn't need to know. If I said that to my H it would be because I was trying to get a reaction from him--and it probably would not be the one I wanted. Don't talk to him about what you are doing. It just reminds him of his guilt and makes him want to avoid you.
If you do go with him Friday--and it is a positive that he asked you--please try not to R talk. Just spend time with him like friends and don't bring up OW b-day, your M, nothing but two friends spending time together. No analyzing, assuming, picking at him. Look good, smile your butt off and validate. Some here will say he doesn't deserve it, but what would the opposite get you?
I believe one of the things that got my H back to me was to forgive and move on. I don't talk about the past and even though it was a hurtful time, I don't need to go over it and remind him what an A$$ he was. I know he appreciates it.
I agree with your priest that he is trying to breakup without being the bad guy. He has guilt coming from all sides and I imagine he feels pretty horrible about himself right now.
And as the DR book says, he will need time to grieve and may not be the nicest guy in the world for a while.
And, this is a biggie for me, my H never apologized except when I first found out about OW. He never showed remorse or even talked about it. But I could tell from his actions how he felt. And I know even without him saying so, that he appreciates me for letting him deal with his stuff in his own way. DBing helped me to read between the lines with him. He can't talk about things. So, that may or may not happen in your sitch.
Anyway, keep trying to let go, have more patience, and keep working on what you need to do to help you feel financially protected. I believe this is all going to work out for you!
