It is never easy to do something that we know is gonna hurt even if it can be justified by the knowledge that it is the best thing you can do for yourself.
It kind of makes me sick that after all of this especially all the recent stuff, he is going to spend her birthday with her. But there is nothing you can do to prevent it. You set the date of June 1 and that will be what you have to stick to now.
$150.00 is a fine start for your account. Even if all you can do is add tiny amounts it while you wait until June 1, that is still all for the good. YOu may be surprised were you can find $20.00 here and $20.00 there. No I do not find it odd at all that you are driving around with your "valuables" in your mini van. When you look back on that you will see it is almost good enough for a movie.
I had a thought today. Since you are so comfortable with the priest, have you thought about asking your H to go with you at some point? If your H does stick to what he has said and ends it by June 1, the priest could also help act as an intermediary with OW as she attends same church. Knowing he is involved could give you some peace. Just a thought.
I know this is hard, but stop letting H bully you with his comments. You know what is what and that is really all that matters.
I am concerned that once the deadline draws nearer, he is going to waffle. We know he is not going to tell her this weekend and ruin her birthday. Have you thought about what that will mean to you?
Regarding this Friday, you are going to have to go with your gut. Do you feel up to spending all that time in the car with him? It may be a good opportunity to talk as you say, just don't expect that the talk and the day together will result in him not seeing her on Saturday. I am afraid you will be hurt.
Maybe if you do go, you can talk with H about all three of you moving out of the town you live in. He hasnt been happy with his job in a long time so he can start fresh somewhere else and she wont be around. It might be just what you all need.
Keep up the good work my friend. You are at a crossroads now and you get to chose which fork to take, no one else. I know it is scary but you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
The decisions your H makes at this point will impact you all. All you can do is face them head on with the honestly and love you have shown throughout this entire journey. You will win in the end. What that may mean has yet to be made clear. You deserve a happy life and that is your goal now.
