Quote: So, instead of asking him if he's been enjoying himself in the sack the last few days...
This kind of question is kind of leading. He'll say "Of course!"
Quote: ...I ask if he feels there's been a change to the good in our relationship?
This is a good direction, but it's a little general.
What I meant was that the fact that he does not want to talk about sex is interesting for its own sake. You could make some educated guesses as to why, but you want him to think it through himself. Maybe something like this:
"You said the other day that talking about sex made you uncomfortable. Why is that? What feelings are you having when I bring up sex?"
You see how those are specific questions about his feelings? The main idea is not for you to find out about his feelings, it's for him to find out about his own feelings. Once he gets them out in the open, he might find out that they are not that awful and you won't run screaming from him.
I'm guessing that he is feeling lots of shame and guilt, feelings of inadequacy. None of these are turn-ons. They are all really hard to talk about.
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
