Quote: ME1967. I bet most of the guys/gals here on the BB would like to work with our own W/H the way you are working with your H. You are a quick case study. Earlier posts by others about not sounding demanding, complaining, or accusing apply.
I think that it might just be my personality. I am not a nagger by nature. I say things once and if it's not done, then I decide if I want to act on the fact that it wasn't done or just go on.
I also pick my battles. If I were to voice a complaint every time something didn't go the way I believed that it should go, I would be constantly harping and nagging. I would also be incredibly miserable.
But if I feel strongly about something, I will beat it to death. I may not repeat myself, but I'll find different ways to get my point across, and I can get very creative. I can't let it go, and will manipulate and connive until I feel that I've been heard or until I get what I want, depending on the circumstances.
I also set incredibly high expectations, not just for myself, but for those around me. While I do not expect perfection, I expect effort and a lot of it. But I do not expect more than I am prepared to give.
I manage people for a living. Without meaning to sound vain, I know that I am one of the more popular managers at work simply because I mean what I say and do what I say I will do. At work, I learned early that success comes from setting expectations out on the table and the consequences for not meeting those expectations.
I have the ability to size people up quickly and seem to instinctively know what buttons to push - what motivates a person, how to talk to them to get their buy in to perform to the company's or my expectations. Some call it manipulation - and yes, I'm a master at it.
Here's an example of what I mean:
When I wrote the letter above, I knew that there was no way in hell that I would stay in a relationship without sex if he were able to perform. I also know that as long as I love him, I would not seek sex outside the marriage.
I couldn't tell him that I required sex, because that gives an ultimatum, it backs him in a corner when he's already feeling defensive. I won't get what I want. But if I tell him that I do not require sex from him, but I will not live without sex, then I'm leaving the decision up to him - he will provide sex, or I will go elsewhere.
Manipulation or motivation? They're one in the same to me.
