The fact of the matter is it doesn't matter exactly how you bring up the discussion. It is going to be tough. I think the first big serious discussion I had with my H after I joined this BB, I used the phrase "I want us to have a more passionate marriage.". I don't think I said anything much more aggressive than that and still my H had a complete throw-his-clothes in a suitcase fit. Unfortunately, this is not an atypical reaction and you need to prepare yourself to stand strong if something like this occurs. It really might be a good idea for you to read "Passionate Marriage" first. It really helped me to learn to "hold on to myself" emotionally when dealing with these kind of convos.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
