First step, you MUST put aside the anger and resentment. You won't make any progress until you can do that. GEL had it right, talk to him about how his actions make you feel. Concentrate on sharing your feelings. WWME sets this up as follows: First you write each other a love letter answering a question and describing your feelings about your answer or feelings about the subject in LOVING detail. Then, you exchange letters and read them to yourself twice, once for content, once for capturing the feeling. Then you spend 10 minutes or so discussing with the goal of trying to get your partner to feel what you are feeling. No analysis or problem solving...just try to convey the feelings that you have. Getting to know what each other is feeling is probably the hardest part of the problem resolution. Once your feelings are shared successfully, a loving spouse will usually try to modify his/her behavior at least to some degree to help avoid generating bad feelings in you. They don't want to hurt you, and it is as painful for them as soon as they see how much you are hurting. Again, I encourage you to sign up for and attend a marriage encounter weekend. You've got nothing but a weekend's worth of time to lose and everything to gain.
