Angry? I sound angry?!? Maybe because I am, but more than angry, I’m hurt and I’m scared, and that puts me on the defense, thus the attitude. I am so out of my comfort zone here. I am not used to not knowing what to do and how to do it.
It is not my intention to hurt or belittle him. That is counterproductive. I thought about taking this on like I’m dealing with an employee at work who is not meeting performance goals, but that’s not right because then I’m in the superior position and we need equality.
But if I go into this on equal footing, then I am opening myself up to a world of hurt. And this man can hurt me more than anyone else alive. Just the thought of giving him that opportunity makes my palms sweat and my heart race. I know that this is what I need to do.
