I know how daunting your conversation seems to you...I still do have a tough time broaching difficult topics with my LDH...but we're so much better at it now than we were 12 months ago.
You don't have to have a boundary/consequence immediately...it's just something you do need to think about...it helps to motivate your H and helps to also drive home how much you are hurting.
Really...when it comes to your convo with your LDH. Stick with "I" sentences....it helps to avoid blaming him for everything (which is also counterproductive). Seriously, tell him how the lack of attention and physical closeness is making you feel...don't hold back on this. I suggest you sit down prior to your convo and make yourself a list of your feelings....how this has truly made you feel; for me it was: unattractive, lonely, sad, angry, resentful, crushed, unimportant etc. Really do try to put your feelings into words for him....I have a hunch he really doesn't have a clue how this is affecting you, my H was COMPLETELY unaware even though I brought it up time and time again. What really opened his eyes up was my boundary/consequences.
Last year we were out for our anniversary...he was trying to be fun n'stuff (non-romantic)....I'd had enough of the farce. So I very plainly said, in a calm tone, that if we didn't get counseling to work on our issues that I couldn't guarantee we'd have another anniversary. That was the eye-opener for him.
So...whatever you say to him do it calmly. No yelling, no placing blame (afterall, you're just as much to blame as he is by not saying something sooner.) Just a calm "Honey we need to talk" conversation. Then let him know you've been trying to talk to him, or at least get up the courage to talk to him about something you both find very difficult to talk about and then jump on in....but remember keep things in the "I" tense..."I feel"...."when we ML I" etc.
Does that help at all? I wish there were a script I could provide...but there isn't.
