JustJenny: You think that being a househusband is contributing to this? That perhaps it's emasculating him? Maybe I also need to explain that we have purchased a 4 unit apartment building that we are converting to a single family dwelling – he’s doing most of it.
Maybe I’m in denial here, but I thought that this was what *he* wanted. And I have made it a point to give up all financial control, made sure that when I talk about money for some reason, I say “our” instead of “my”. But there has to be some truth here. Why does he not say anything when I put a couple of hundred on the credit card in retaliation? Except that maybe, I am not spending enough to hurt us… I don’t know, because I have totally cut myself off from the finances.
Why doesn’t he just say that he wants to go back to work? He has talked about what he wants to do after DS is in school and work has not been mentioned. And he knows that I brag continuously about him being a better houseparent than I was when I did it in a previous marriage with my daughter.
Anyway, this is one thing on my list to discuss.
As for porn, I’m already ahead of you. I check his browser history frequently. It’s possible that I have missed something, but what I see are home improvement boards, and a couple of news sites that he visits daily. Again, I could be in denial and will ask him. He doesn’t have any chat programs on his computer and his email out box is normal stuff to family and friends.
Another thing on my list to discuss, but I’m sure that he will deny it. And I can’t restrict his internet access like he was a child.
------------- I reread my post and I realize that I have managed to debunk everything you said, JJ. It’s not my intention, I’m listening and hearing and it’s making me nauseous.
While I am hardly the jealous type, if he’s jacking off to a fake woman that’s posted on the internet somewhere rather than making love to me, I’m going to hit the roof. While I might eat these words later, but I’d rather it be a live woman (with personality quirks and morning breathe) that I can compete with. I can’t compete with some airbrushed person that does not exist.
Not that I would want to compete with the other woman if she exists… I would much prefer to verbally castrate him, figuritively shove it where the sun don’t shine, and tell him to hit the road. But in my current mental strength, I know that I am probably not that strong.
