THANK YOU so much for the support! I told my "main" boss on Tuesday - almost chickened out, then read these messages and one from a friend of mine to build up my courage and told him. And he was SOOOO wonderful!!! Reassured me about my work over the past year, told me I should take off the time that I needed, and gave me a hug when I was leaving his office!!!! I am so thankful for your encouragement. I do feel like a huge burden is off my shoulders. Now I need to tell my other boss - who I know will be supportive - I think I'll tell her over the phone because I know I'd break down in front of her and I just don't feel like doing any more crying than I have to. I stopped wearing my ring into the office on Tuesday and haven't put it back on, fully prepared to answer any questions that came my way about it - no one has asked yet, but it still feels like a big burden's lifted. I feel like I have "permission" to be as unfocused and unproductive as I am, and somehow I've been a bit more productive because of it. I made that "to do list" yesterday and it really helped me. Again, thank you SO much!!! I have these messages saved on my Blackberry and I look at them every once in a while for encouragement.
He's packed up all his things and so I come home to boxes now - his apartment won't be ready until June. He doesn't sleep here anymore so I haven't seen him for a while. It hasn't been as hard as I was expecting walking into the house...but then again, though I'm not bawling I am walking around pretty much in a funk. I can smile and laugh at work - had a big conference today and was just as goofy as ever - but outside of that context, when I walk out of the room, I can't even imagine my face forming a smile ever again.
Anyway - one step, one day, at a time - at least I took that first step at work. Thank you.
