Bravo, dude...bravo! Man, you are just one inspiration after another!
Merrick, you said something in your post that I want to respond to (not meaning to hijack here, Gabe...):
Quote: And most important, how do we minimize the potentially crushing vulnerability of showing such love.
I have struggled with this question myself. While I'm not purporting to have the "right" answer, I think I've figured out what works for me.
I know that in order to be happy with any R, I'm going to have to be open and vulnerable. With my currently-whacko SO, I have made a conscious decision to be open and vulnerable with him, and he has really responded well to it.
I am also developing a healthy sense of when I need to pull back. We can all experience "intimacy overload". Right now, I'm in a pull back stage.
For me, being open and vulnerable means putting my defense mechanisms down, regardless who I am interacting with. When I am able to do this, I experience the interaction much more fully.
So I guess my question to you is, and others reading Gabe's thread, would being open and vulnerable mean giving up control? Because it doesn't have to mean that.
