Just read my last post after reading others' sitches and saw how needy/controlling/fearful that stance of mine is.
I need to drop the rope, and just let her work on herself. The slip was probably for hair removal - s/t she wanted to do for years but chose not to in sacrifice for family needs. She has every right to self-care.
On my part, I need to be confident, assured that I'm just fine without her or with her, and that S5 and I will make up our own little family if need be.
Things are looking up. Got advice on how to advance my contract work still further, I look at least 5 years younger than I did in the recent past (noticed several women looking at me at the waterpark), and I know myself so much more than I did in the last few years in the M.
S5 will be away with her from Thur thru Mon. I will use that time wisely: 1) More guitar practice 2) Heavy workouts/running 3) One publication submission and tackling another heavily. 4) I may see if female associate wants to do lunch - wavering on this - only if she's game for s/t neutral. I think W needs to see my walking away from her. I'm "Old Faithful" a bit much in her eyes. I want her to see that I won't be moving into a monastery any time soon and for her to think about improving her act, as she is replaceable (not really, but she might start thinking more if she perceives this).
