Jo, thanks for that pointer about needing to consider time when it comes to giving more to the R right now. I hear you. Your comments about validating gave me a nice idea for experimenting the next time her rehashing old neg stuff happens. I'll try a compromise move of some rehashing and see if that improves things.
Wes, I don't pay the state of FL - it does go to W. One has that option here in FL. We both would rather not have the government involved in the sitch and share that opinion strongly. I give W more that I need to, working in extras here and there, for either her or S5, and it seems to be doing wonders for resolving some of that early anger/hurt, and may even be building up some trust. Paying the government takes away a good part of that, by making it automatic and much less personal.
W called again - with a happy 'reason' to tell me that she and S5 received a nice letter from a Canadian rainforest charity that they donated to (I should say that my home equity donated to! ), and reminded me gently of S5's swim lesson. She brought the letter and other material to the lesson, and this time allowed moments of some semi-close sitting and movement. At the end of the lesson, W disrobed to her swimsuit in front of me. I didn't actively check her out, as she seemed defensive about that last time, but hey, there's progress there, too. Babysteps. So much for my quieted libido, though. W can sure rev my motor like no one else.
), and reminded me gently of S5's swim lesson. She brought the letter and other material to the lesson, and this time allowed moments of some semi-close sitting and movement. At the end of the lesson, W disrobed to her swimsuit in front of me. I didn't actively check her out, as she seemed defensive about that last time, but hey, there's progress there, too. Babysteps. So much for my quieted libido, though. W can sure rev my motor like no one else. 
