You did well to change the focus onto something more positive.
It's okay to validate but not to the point where you indulge their negativity (by 'their' I mean all WAS's).
Remember, though, that at the moment you don't have an R, which is why you are doing the giving.
If your association with your W were to develop further and you were on a more secure footing, then she would likely give more and it would be a more even R.
You should keep reminding yourself this when you don't feel appreciated.
Of course, everyone comes to a limit on the amount of DB'ing they are prepared to do before they call it quits. That will ultimately be up to you, but I think you are doing well.
