Jo, your swift kick in the pants was just what I needed! You're right - I was getting negative. I loved your take on her perspective on the sitch, and your encouragement to let her mourn the D is good advice:
Quote: Just hang in there and try to let her grieve without taking it too personally. Most of the negative stuff they say is just BS anyway.
Thanks, Jo - very reality based advice.
Wes wrote:
Quote: Its a fine line between being a door mat and unconditional love, everyone has to strike their own balance. I believe that the WAS is riding an emotional rollercoaster too. You can never predict what willl come out of their mouth. The best thing you can do is not let it affect you, and of course you do this by not reacting negatively to their outbursts.
I'm discovering a way to set up boundaries politely, and W seems to be responding w/ greater respect.
We had a rough sitch in which S5 was touched by a same age boy in school on his genitals. This threw us both, as we want S5 to never be affected by such things. Turns out the boy has been sexually acting out on several other kids and the school is trying to keep it hush-hush. I informed the school administrator of my specialization in this area, and offered a clear appropriate plan of action, but they kept playing ostrich for a week. W called very upset this afternoon after a IC session and did a nice job of talking threw her upset and being rationa about things, but generally asking me to take the lead in pursuing more action. We agreed that I call in the event to our version of CPS, with the hope of getting the boy help, kicking the school admin. in the arse so they don't do this again, and allowing us to see this play out more thoroughly before we decide what school he should attend in the Fall term.
I met W during S5's swim lesson and told her about my convo with CPS and the police. We'll be interviewed tomorrow. W noted how much S5 starts to show off when he sees me present - really melted my heart to see him spark up like that when he saw me. W seemed genuinely happy about and we laughed together when she said jokingly, "Hey, why doesn't he ever show off for ME like that?!" As I said goodbye to them to go back to teach, W met my eyes with a very warm smile.
Now THAT feels much better!
On a side, I applied some DBing at work, and arranged a nice lucrative compromise with my supervisor regarding some contract work. Another contract issue was resolved with a buddy I work with, so my financial world has improved greatly by the removal of these hassles.
You're right - I was getting negative. I loved your take on her perspective on the sitch, and your encouragement to let her mourn the D is good advice:
