Re-read SSM cover-to-cover. It will at least help you to see your H's side. Full Disclosure: I am the HD in my M and the LD section helped me understand some of my W's concerns.
Anyway try to understand the your H (in all likelihood) did not get married to be celibate--that's what monasteries are for.
I agree that he should give you a bit more help around the house. DR has a chapter on asking for what you want. Consider a copy of that.
