I couldn't help but notice how you phrased this...." I just couldn't be bothered really!"
Now I'm not attacking you k? Just wanted to make that clear...but that just shouted out to me that you aren't willing to make sex a priority in your M in order to save your M.
Now, perhaps you don't mean it that way...or perhaps it was an unconcious way of phrasing it that actually does hold the key to your problem. I'd like to mention that you don't necessarily have to increase your SD to have a healthy SR w/your spouse....but you do need to make sex a priority if it is important to your H.
FYI, I have an LDH...who did finally get around to reading SSM (he hates to read LOL)...he didn't have the same take on it being directed towards HD people as you did. Just out of curiosity....is it possible you may have read it looking for that slant? Often we find what we look for. I'm not saying you did do this...just asking if you might have unintentionally.
Lastly (for now)....what occupys your day so fully that you don't think about sex w/your H. Is it that you are just really so busy that you have lists of things ticking off in your brain that you have to take care of constantly (some people have this), is it that he is constantly approaching your for sex (is he grabby, angry, persistent?)....or does it literally NEVER cross your mind...EVER?
Also, are there any other issues in your M or in your past that make sex a difficult thing for you. I know this is personal, but is there any abuse in your history?
These are all things that can be factors contributing your the difficulties you are experiencing...we're going to need more to go on in order to try to help you out....and believe me, everyone here is wonderful at trying to help.
We all know how painful this issue is from both sides of the fence. I personally have been LD in a prior M, I'm now the HD spouse...I've hurt from both sides.
Give us all the info you can....don't worry about how long you make it...the more insight you can give the better we can help.
Oh, and to address your "I need to do something quick" statement....if you really feel this way. Begin with finding yourself a good counselor, one that is pro-marriage. If nothing else you and your H are likely to need someone to help you both deal with this issue until you either learn to deal with it....or hopefully work through it. Let your H know you are doing this because YOU want to work this out...it will at least let him know you are trying to do something.
