KTF- I do many 180's and also "tease" my H to see his reaction. I find him checking me out all the time, but then I think he just wants sex. Which is fine..I love the sex...but a hug or kiss would be nice to...just out of the blue!
JRB-
It's because hugging you would mean something to each of you, something he isn't ready to feel or have you feel. In my case, my W has touched me something like twice in the 11 months we have been separated. Literally twice, a hand on my arm twice during difficult moments. For her, touching threatens that emotional wall she has erected to protect her resolve to continue on the D path she has chosen. Perhaps it is similar for your H.
You could be right on that part..I dont think its because he doesnt ever want to do it, but maybe he is afraid. Maybe he wants to be sure he is willing to give our M it all before he shows me affection. That way he wont have to hurt me so much again.
Last night, I went and we sat on couch together..me sitting under his legs while he layed on couch. There was a time when he put his hand on my knee and was like he was going to rub it, but then realized what he was doing and pretended he was scratching his knuckles...(hard to explain) but it was like he wanted to do that, but then became afraid, or it was weird for him because he has not done it in so long. I remember feeling that same way after the EA. I loved touching my H, and starting to do it again was a little uncomfortable at first.
I wonder if I should have said anything, like "its ok, you can do that..I like it"..or something..I dont know. But it was nice to see that maybe hes trying?!!
Yesterday was another great day! I just feel like we are getting so much closer! Its such a great feeling..I feel safe now...I really dont think he is going to leave! Then *secureness* of our M is finally there!
