Thanks Mel---I was wondering if you had lost me...hee hee!

Journaling:

Well things are going so well, and its very hard and scary to say that, because it seems that when I do, things start to go bad. Ok, but not this time! I am going to stay positive!!

The past couple days, H has been spending lots of time with me..just in general in the house. I have not went to him or asked him for anything. We made a HUGE breakthru yesterday I feel.

H left house and he was gone for while. When he came back, he seemed distracted and upset. I asked if something was bothering him (the whole time thinking it was because the printers were not working and he thought it was my fault). He kind of shrugged his shoulders and looked as if he wanted to tell me, but wasnt sure. Then I said, "you know you can talk to me about anything if you need to", to which he went on to tell me about arguement he had with his dad earlier. I just listened to him and validated how he felt, because I know how much of an a$$ his dad can be at times. For us this was HUGE! H felt comfortable enough to talk to me..I cant even remember the last time he opened up to me about something bothering him like this.

We also had some problems with softball yesterday..someone cancelled at last minute, meaning we had to find a sub and fast. Well, I knew H would stress over it, so I tried to find sub on my own, but afternoon was closing in, so I knew I needed to tell him. I did tell him and said I didnt want him to be stressing all day and that I had tried to take care of it, but couldnt find anyone. I thought he would freak out, but he handled it pretty well. We ended up going to the game thinking we would be playing with 8 people, but ended up picking up another player at the ballfield! Woohoo! H was very good about everything and even though we were losing, he seemed to be in a pretty positive mood. We lost by one point! Shucks!! Then we came home and one of the players came over and we hung out with some beers and watched basketball.

Ok, now for the biggie! I have been watching H watch me dress, undress, walk, WHATEVER..he has had his eye on me this past week. I took a shower and got into bed and H initiated ML with me! And it wasnt the same ol' feely, grabby...he was so sensitive and loving about it! Honestly, I cant remember the last time he initiated! Maybe like 6 months ago! So, yes, I thanked God for H last night! Of coure then I "pumped up H ego" in hopes that he will do more of this in the future!

And, I slept like a baby!

Today the plan is to go to Home Depot, get some plants, go to driving range and then go home and plant. I asked H to maybe help me a bit he usually doenst help me with the planting...but I told him it would be a good way to get rid of his farmers tan! Hee hee!