Thanks F4W---You always lift up my spirits!! And I have the pot ready to go!!
Here is what one of my horoscopes said today:
Don’t be reluctant to revise your game plan if you have to in order to adapt to the new opportunities around you right now. You might find that you have to work harder and dig deeper than usual, without necessarily receiving any immediate rewards, but your efforts at this time should quietly serve to build a greater foundation of respect for you.
Well then...that souns like a plan!! Here is my ME focused weekend plans:
First I have CPR class this morning , but then friend and I are going hiking in the mts. After, gonna hang out at my house and get some sun and drink some strawberry daquaris. Then we are going to do a spa day at home for ourselves! During which, the entire day, I will have my phone on silent and not take any of H calls. He usually calls me when hes gone, but not really to talk, its usually to have me do some stuff for him on the computer, but not this weekend. I think its time to put a little mystery into my life.
Tomorrow, its off to Home Depot to buy some plants for the yard, have some coffee and then off to late church. H usually comes home around 9:30-10 on these days he comes back from partying, so I am going to plan on not being home when he gets here. After church, going to be outside working in yard as much as possible and give H NO sympathy or wait on him hand and foot like I usually do when he comes back from partying.
Journaling:
I have been wanting to give H a hug so bad past few days and have been afraid. So crazy..why cant I give someone a hug that I care about...well, because he is so friggen stand-offish (not even sure thats a word, but oh well) that it only makes my heart fall. Well, I decided I was ready for that, so after the softball game, I just went up to him and hugged him..said I just wanted a nice hug..well, he put as little effort into it as possible..barely touching my body...ahh, what a great feeling !!! But I walked away from it thinking..well, I got a hug...so I won! Hee hee! When he left, it was like saying good bye to friend...he said, Im leaving now..and walked out door, gave me quick look and left....yep, thats my wonderful R with my H! So, friend and I went out for while and just got to say, the is the best friend ever...listened to me rattle all my thoughts out of my head like a crazy person! But it helped, and she helped me try to make sense of things, well, at least the things we were able to make sense of. My H is at that alien stage again...no telling who is going to be from one moment to the next! But, like I said, it helped, I was able to come home, relax, do some reading of DR and get some good sleep.
This morning is a new day...the sun is shining, its beautiful weather, and I have my life! What could be better, right?? I feel good...might be cuz H is out of house and I can relax..but oh well...as long as I feel good, nothing else matters to me right now!
, but then friend and I are going hiking in the mts. After, gonna hang out at my house and get some sun and drink some strawberry daquaris. Then we are going to do a spa day at home for ourselves! During which, the entire day, I will have my phone on silent and not take any of H calls. He usually calls me when hes gone, but not really to talk, its usually to have me do some stuff for him on the computer, but not this weekend. I think its time to put a little mystery into my life. 
So crazy..why cant I give someone a hug that I care about...well, because he is so friggen stand-offish (not even sure thats a word, but oh well) that it only makes my heart fall. Well, I decided I was ready for that, so after the softball game, I just went up to him and hugged him..said I just wanted a nice hug..well, he put as little effort into it as possible..barely touching my body...ahh, what a great feeling !!! 
But I walked away from it thinking..well, I got a hug...so I won! Hee hee! When he left, it was like saying good bye to friend...he said, Im leaving now..and walked out door, gave me quick look and left....yep, thats my wonderful R with my H! So, friend and I went out for while and just got to say, the is the best friend ever...listened to me rattle all my thoughts out of my head like a crazy person! But it helped, and she helped me try to make sense of things, well, at least the things we were able to make sense of. My H is at that alien stage again...no telling who is going to be from one moment to the next! But, like I said, it helped, I was able to come home, relax, do some reading of DR and get some good sleep. 
