WOW F4W!! Thanks for that!! You sure did make me do some good thinking.
Define what a marriage full of love is? It certainly is different in every marriage, that is for sure. Me, personally, I need to feel loved, by getting affection and hearing ILY (My big LL). But- its also where you do and care for each other unconditionally. You share each others day, and are intersted in each others lives. There is plenty more, but I could be writing for days...hee hee.
Are the basics being met before the others can take place. I guess if I look at our M now, the basics are being met. We share our days with each other, we share the same bed, we do things for each other that we know the other person appreciates, to let them know we care about them. We go out on dates, and go out with other couples. Im sure there would be more if I dug deeper. So I guess in a sense, the basics are a form of "friendship" that will in turn become so much more in the marriage, right?!
If our S were seriously hurt and incapable of physical affection (hugging, kissing, ML) would we abandon them? Of course not! That is a very good way of looking at things!! WOW! That is where the unconditional love comes in...and right now, if they are unable to recipricate, I can be patient!
A friend and I were talking yesterday and I asked her if maybe that one of my H LL could be affection, because of the fact that he is constantly asking the kids for hugs and kisses. (Because he is not getting them from me) A couple weeks ago, before he told me "his feelings had not changed", I was showing him affection...nice little back rubs, shoulder rubs, hugs from behind, hugs before he left for work, etc. Then when I was doing all that and not getting any in return, is when I started asking for affection from him and pushing him. Well, when he said those words to me, I stopped! Not sure if it was because I was afraid or angry or what, but I stopped doing that stuff.
But now, seeing him going to the kids for the affection makes me wonder if maybe he is missing it? So I am going to try to start it up again WITHOUT any expectations!!!!
