Quote: Frist of all you would need to find someone that you really trust, and I mean REALLY trust.
I found a IC. Only now I am having a hard time with my brain cells. I am beginning to understand how needy we become when we have a gaping hole in our emotional needs area. I am fighting an urge, not an action mind you, an urge to become involved emotionally with someone. Talk about a temptation. I haven't...but I can't even believe I have brain cells that think that way. As if life doesn't have enuf struggles.
Before my H had his affair I had the oppertunity to do the same. At that point in our R things were bad, I will addmit to going out and having drinks with this guy but that is all we ended up doing. But I could have very easily, if I had known at the time about what was going on with H, fell into the affair and hard. To this day I really don't know what kept me from going any further than what I did, maybe morals, but I am glad that I didn't. But after things cooled down with the other guy I realized how much I loved my H and did not want to lose him over something stupid like an affair. When I found about my H's affair I was kind of mad at myself for not going any further, but on the other hand I was glad that I did not, I had nothing to hide from H.
All I can tell you is to stick to what you were taught at home and you will be just fine, you know morals. I know they get in the way sometimes but they do keep you out of trouble.
Oh one more thing- It is hard to consentrate on two relationships at the same time, wheather it is just in your head or not. I know that you have an emotional hole but be careful with what you fill it with.
Hi midwest - Glad the socializing is going well. My take on work mates is that any personal complications seem to muddy the waters - often work can be a refuge from home troubles and vice versa, if the same relationships straddle the two worlds, wel, seems like there is no escape
Slowly, Your info is sound. My work needs to be separate. Thanks.
I have had another rough spell with H. He sent me a letter and told me to file or he would. This is an endless cycle. I decided to file. The court hearing is over as far as provisional orders. This is not what I wanted or planned for my life. However, receiving letters/calls saying do what I want or I will be with OW is just not something I am able to deal with any longer. H tells me this is all my fault and there is nothing in him that needs fixed. Let him feel how he feels. H can think what he thinks. I agree to accept his opinion as an opinion. I am off the roller coaster. I want to say I'll forever wait for him to change. I cannot give myself that luxury. I must admit I want him to love, honor and cherish me. Settling for a man that only loves himself and has no room for me is just too painful. It hurts deep inside. Life does indeed go on...and leaves me behind at times... Midwest
I'm so sorry to hear it has come to this, but as you say, for as long as he is not capable of thinking beyond himself, you may be better off the roller coaster. Please continue to db through the divorce - remember to detach and not own any problems that are not yours.
Slowly, Thank you for your support. I still want it to change to something better. It isn't over even when a divorce paper is signed. Mayber it will open up opportunities on both our parts... Midwest
