Quote: Can you make a bargain with yourself to not judge the interactions for a while? To act "as if" and really focus on getting your pma back up, etc?
Taking a long car trip stretched my limits beyond belief (LOL). I think that from the first "I don't want to go the long way" H comment that set our typical tone for such a trip. Is my tongue ever sore from biting back comments--a change from more of the same. It did make a diference. I didn't take the bait when he "got tired" right before the major city. He finished that part of the trip (usually I take over and fume). I knew we'd have a repeat long trip if I did not tell him my preference for the way home. Before we left, I explained I preferred to go 45 minutes longer if it kept me out of the city. He agreed to go the other way!!!!!!!! DR miracle. Low and behold they are the same in time traveled (he watched the clock) and it was so much more leisurely. This was success for us.
I am very very much one to make assumptions. I am working hard not to make assumptions but I keep doing it. I felt rejected after the trip--he'd gone home. I ended up calling H and we went out for supper--alone. We talked and H gave me several compliments and was thankful for time with me. 1.I did give positive feedback and thank him for the evening and we actually had a great time.
2. Knowing now a lot of the issues are related to how I percieve what is going on helps. I'm going to get the self coaching book.
3. Plans to walk at lunch and then in evening at home. I can do all these little things...PMA here I come.
4. No stewing over things that happened, no analyzing, no blaming for the next 4 days ( I need to start small here...LOL). I'm going to act as if life is going my way
It is going to be an excellent week--only 4 to work Midwest
