Today was peaceful. I'm so glad that I'm out of the tailspin and moving beyond the victim role again. It just sucks me in with such a strong force.
I never did figure out what exactly set it off. However, the KLA info assures me that I can move on and no need to look back right now. I'm glad.
College D and I just had fun. All we did was errands and fast food. Something different for a change. Tomorrow is a half day at work. So we are headed to the library to find books on the list from Slowly and the Boundries one if it is there.
No contact at all since Sunday with H. No calls. Nothing. I talk with C tomorrow. He asked if I could detach and not sit with H at church--that would be difficult for me. Good news I'm going out of state and it will be a nonissue next week. So, that will take care of a dif decision.
What are my goals? They are far too general and unreachable for short term/long term success. I don't want to give up even when I feel like giving up.
Back to the drawing board. I'm planning on working on setting boundries for reconciliation first. I do know that I am content when he is around for a couple hours several days a week. When he starts monopolizing my time and activities by being around too much I get frustrated. The house gets messy and laundry behind. Garbage piles up. I cannot talk on the phone because that offends him. So, I need a plan where I have freedom to do chores and visit with anyone I choose on the phone (limited to GF's and family). H had started grocery shopping with me as long as it didn't take too long (or he's grumpy). I need to make a budget. I have the info. I have the forms. I have a class coming soon. This needs to be a priority. Goal: 1. I will collect info for budget 2. I will copy pages so the master will be clean 3. Wed. I will make 6 entries on the form. 4. I will use the principles with the budgeting for the 6 items to see if they are in the right percentage.
5. Thursday I will enter 6 more items 6. I will see if they make the percentages 7. Friday I hope there is nothing more to add in. I will get a favorite chocolate if I make this goal.
I'm hoping posting this makes me do the budget, nothing else has motivated me yet. It is vital to my survival.
I am content, concerned about the future but content with today
