I need to start a new thread and am moving here since life is indeed changing. I'm going to try to link to the old thread. how to trust again I'm participating in the KLA 2005 that starts soon. Life is good right now. Midwest
Brief recap: H had A in July and then Oct 2004 and moved in and out of her home after a few days each time. I didn't trust H so, moved into an apartment with 1 year lease. H says no contact with OW since Jan. H is working at establishing trustworthiness so I will begin to trust him again. (sounds so easy on paper).
We have 4 children, youngest freshman in college and now home for summer. Others are married with small children. New little one in the family today...8 lb girlie
I have struggled with anger and fear along the way. Sometimes losing the battle with a whiny complainy attitude. Faithful friends keep me aware of the attitude when it seeps back in.
I've done some GAL things that worked and some that haven't. I love the botanical gardens and have a new season pass. I gave up shopping just for the fact it now kinda makes me sad. However, walking the outdoor mall with a wonderful fountain still tops my list. The canoeing and backpacking will be interesting and different for the summer as I try it out.
Best 180 was to try new things--that so suprised my H. He wants to join with me as I try some of them. H is having fun and a little nervous about what the next new thing may be--LOL
My goals are being met ever so slowly...I do like the fact I'm meeting goals even if they are tiny tiny ones.
Next goals include: Looking for ways to keep growing while piecing M back together: KLA CD's Address my issues of finaces with 10 week seminar Make list of the strengths and weaknesses in M then work out how to improve these areas.
So, life changes and I'm in for the ride. Life is very good.
Hi Kim, We'd be glad to have you here. I'm trying to hold my own after an especially good time last week. I actually made a tiny tactical error with my H--we are separated. I let him stay one night. He said I'd have to tell him to leave because he plans to stay. Oh, boy. That makes it kinda hard for me to keep my head on straight. (the unofficial agreement was at the end of our leases we'd consider getting together which is fall.)
We need to piece our M back together but there are some issues that have to be dealt with like now. I'm no longer the maid/cook/etc. After my late night at work, I come home and he asks what is for supper. Bad question. I just asked what he'd made for us. End of conversation. I hope that was setting a boundry. Oh boy...what a dilemma. H still needs to start in some counseling... I feel all the issues of the past coming to haunt me again. I need to think how to do this right with the DB. I just need to be able to think. Midwest (typed ny name not midwest,gotta be able to think)
Journalling... The backpacking class was very informative. It is a sport in itself. Day pack, trip pack, where to go, shoes, boots etc. The stress of the last week is getting me. H tonoc said I was too quiet and asked if I was struggling. Since I really want an honest relationship, I nodded yes. I just didn't want him mad. He said he'd go home. So, angrily he did. Didn't even shut the door on the way out...
I don't think I DB this very well. I was honest, yet it hurt him. Maybe now my head will stop spinning from the pressure thing he was doing to me.
Hi midwest - What a dilemma indeed. I think it is good that you have given the moving back together thing a bit more time.
Quote: H tonoc said I was too quiet and asked if I was struggling. Since I really want an honest relationship, I nodded yes. I just didn't want him mad. He said he'd go home. So, angrily he did. Didn't even shut the door on the way out...
If this is how he behaves over a simple request for some space, I wonder what it will be like with bigger issues
Wishing you a peaceful, reflective weekend. I too find it difficult to get the thought stoppers out when trust issues surface.
Slowly, Thanks for the positive thot for my weekend.
I've had some time to think and realized that the work ahead is worth it.
H came over today at my D request. Our new grandbaby is visiting and she is a real drawing card (I have room for all of us). H was a gentleman and left me alone.
I plan to read and enjoy the evening. Somethng I haven't given myself persmission to do for months.
Later, I'll look for the ways to restructure on our reconciliation. Any ideas on good boundries for this?? Thanks Midwest
Just wanted to tell you I bought an awesome book called Boundaires in Marriage, it is by Dr.Cloud. Totally helpful, even comes with a study guide with questions and answers.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
