LOL. Actually, I think there are at least a couple women on this BB who have drives that are as high or higher than mine (HP, SecondChances, Karen) and I've known MANY women who have drives much higher than mine. The fact is there must be lots of people who have much higher drives than the people on this BB. These are the people who would never tolerate being in a SSM for a minute and so they never end up on a BB like this because they resolve the problem as soon as it occurs.
I wanted to speak to the issue of people who acknowledge a problem with drive disparity in their marriage but don't consider it a big problem. I think at various junctures in my marriage I might have been one of those people. My marital sex life has always been a problem for me but it hasn't always been my biggest problem or a problem I felt I had the resources to address. If you had surveyed me at age 29, I would have agreed that I wasn't exactly happy with my sex life but the thing that was making me miserable was the fact that I didn't have the career I wanted. If you had surveyed me at age 32, I would have indicated that my sex life was a 2 on a scale of 10 but my biggest priority was fixing up the old house we had just purchased, etc. There are several reasons why this issue jumped to #1 on my priority list last year. The sex situation got worse than ever with my discovery of my H's porn habit at the same time I had the "luxury" of being able to put more personal resources into addressing the problem because my career was going well and my kids were older. People posting about their sex life on an infertility BB obviously are considering "having kids" to be the #1 issue in their marriage not "having a great sex life" except to the extent that LD might impact fertility issues.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
